Feeling Disconnected Today...

Disconnected:
I guess it's just an 'off' day for me today. Nothing seems to be going right. I went over to see Georgie today, and we decided to take her daughter, Heaven, to the park for a little bit. It was such a nice day out, and I knew that Heaven wanted to go to the park and play on the swings and stuff. And even doing that, I just felt 'out of sorts'. I sure hope tomorrow will be a better day, because something has got to give. Right now, Chris and I are arguing, and that's not helping matters much at all. I hate it when we argue, because he thinks he's always right, and expects an apology even if he knows he was wrong...he will NEVER apologize first and it irritates me to no end when he does that. And I also think he knows that too lol. And not to mention, when we do argue, I get depressed, and get knots in my stomach and then the anxiety attacks set it. He doesn't understand this and you think he would because he's seen my anxiety attacks before. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest and I can't breathe. Oh, another thing, if people would just keep their yaps shut and stop talking trash, we wouldn't have many problems. But there's always someone out there who's jealous and doesn't want to see us happy and they start running their yaps and cause all kinds of problems for us, that we don't need. We have a hard enough time trying to make it. And I have found that the people that do open up their yaps are the ones that are jealous of how happy we are and can be. There's been times to where I wish we could just move away from all the bullshit, but financially, we can't afford to move out of Youngstown. So we're stuck in this hell hole of a town, while people run their mouths.

Job Hunting:
Well, the job hunting isn't going very well. This economy is so tanked right now. I put applications in to various places, with the hopes that someone will call me, but no luck so far. I have my certification as a Home Health Aide from the state but no one is hiring, at least not me anyways. I've only been fired from one job in my life. But I'm trying so very hard to keep my chin up and that I will find something soon. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but living with them is hard on Cheyenne and I. I hardly have any privacy....I just want a house that I can call my own, ya know? Where Chris, Cheyenne & I can be a family, living together. But it's just so hard, because I can't catch a break anywhere. It can be disheartening and discouraging at times. So anyways, I'm gonna get off of here and try to get rid of this migraine, before I end up in the ER tonight. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(