Almost Here!

Well, Christmas is almost here....3 more days! In a way, I will be glad when it's over so my daughter will quit asking me what we got her for Christmas. I swear every day for the past month, that's all she's done. Every single day! lol And I tell her the same thing every day, if she keeps asking, she won't get anything from anyone. That quickly ends the conversation...hehehe

I got a surprise call today that I wasn't expecting at all. Brian called me and asked me if I wanted to go Christmas shopping with him. I was completely shocked. So I agreed to meet him at Wal-Mart. I was looking at some pajamas and he got them for me for Christmas. I told him that he didn't have to do that and that I would get them eventually and he told me "Merry Christmas honey." So I kindly thanked him and we went about our business, continuing shopping for Cheyenne. Did I mention that Brian brought one of his friends with him and I think he noticed the way that Brian and I looked at each other. Anyways, for the next hour or so while we're there, we actually got along and shopped like we did when we were together. It was weird and familiar at the same time, if that makes any sense at all. But anyways, that's enough for tonight and I'm exhausted from a very long day today!

Shopping is Done!!!

Shopping is Done Finally!! :

My mom and I finally got our Christmas shopping done today. We decided to go to Wal-Mart, I figured that was our best bet as I didn't think they would be as packed as the mall would be. And I was right too. We finished shopping for Cheyenne, there were a few more things that she added to her Christmas list. There's 4 more people I need to get for... Mom, Dad, Marty & Heaven Irene. I know what Heaven and Marty want. Heaven wants anything that has Dora the Explorer or stuff like that. And for Marty, she like candles, Garfield the cat. Now Mom & Dad will be a little harder to shop for. But that's okay. I like going out and Christmas shopping, except on Christmas Eve or the day after Christmas.

Other than that, not much going on here. My Mom got me an early Christmas present today while we were at Wal-Mart. She got me "Hidden Expedition, Devil's Triangle". It's a hidden object game and so far, it's pretty cool. I get into mysteries, sci-fi and stuff like that. I want to get World of Warcraft, but it's pretty expensive when you get all the expansion packs and stuff for it. But I like the game I got, so I'm not complaining lol.

Unwinding.....

Unwinding:

Today was a busy day. I got up at 9:30 and I took Cheyenne to basketball practice. Then I picked her up at noon and we came home for a bit. She didn't want to go to my niece's birthday party so she ended up going to stay at her friend's house for the night. Georgeanne had a nice party for Heaven. I helped Georgeanne make the cake and get everything ready for the party. No one else seemed to want to help pitch in with anything. But I told Georgeanne that if she needed any help at all to just let me know. It ended up being a real nice party. We took a bunch of pictures and I'm going to upload them the Walmart's website and then pick them up. Heaven got a lot of nice things for her birthday. I just can't believe that she's 6. I remember holding her when she was a baby and she has grown up so fast. Next thing I know, she'll be getting ready to graduate high school. It's the same with Cheyenne, next thing I know too, she'll be off to college. Anyways, Rickcal came up, she said to help, but she really didn't help much. She sat most of the time. I asked her if she could wash out the cake pan real quick and she copped an attitude with me. Granted, I know she's pregnant, but Georgeanne was preoccupied trying to get the chili sauce and the hot dogs ready. And I was mixing the other layer for cake. Georgeanne had a HUGE 2 layer cake with strawberry glaze in the middle. That cake was off the chain!! It was so good that it gave me a sugar buzz lol. So that was the extent of my day. I'll upload pictures from the party tomorrow. I'm exhausted. So until I blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

A Busy Day Planned For Tomorrow!

A Busy Day Tomorrow:

I have a busy day planned, all starting at 9:30 am. Cheyenne has basketball practice tomorrow, it's their first practice of the season and they're going to be playing in games this year finally. They didn't play any games last year. And they also get their schedule, which she didn't get last year, or Cheyenne lost it somewhere. So that's why I'm going to take her so I can get the schedule and keep it on the fridge. Then after that Cheyenne is spending the night at her friend Tea's. And I'm going to Georgeanne's daughter's birthday party at 3:30. Heaven will be 6 tomorrow. I remember holding her when she was a baby. I still have to get her a birthday present. I'll do that sometime tomorrow between running around lol.
Then after the party, a friend of mine and I are going to see New Moon. I'm so excited!! I've been wanting to see it since they first announced it. So that's about it for around here. So until I blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

Well I've Made Up My Mind...

Well I've Made Up My Mind:

I've decided to go back to Blogger for all my blogging needs. I love that I can change my themes accordingly to my mood or for the holidays. Wordpress is good too, but Blogger is better in the fact that I can change my template for free. I'm actually looking forward to Christmas this year. Cheyenne is going to have a nice Christmas and I am going to make sure of that. By hook or by crook, it will be one of the best Christmas's for her. And I'm not even going to ask for Brian's help because he likes to throw shit back in face eventually. I mean I don't care if he gets her something for Christmas, but he doesn't need to rub it in my face. He thinks that I need his help, but this Christmas, I will prove to him that I don't need his help.
So that's about it. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

Easter Bunny Lane Visit

Visit to Easter Bunny Lane:
My mom and I took Cheyenne to Easter Bunny Lane today. There's like a specialty store here called Kraynak's and every year, they have Christmas Lane and Easter Bunny Lane. And the best thing about it is that it's free! It's even free to sit on the Easter Bunny's lap and that's pretty cool. Cheyenne didn't want any part of the Easter Bunny though for some reason, but I didn't push the issue. She's finally starting to feel better, which is a very good sign. Other than that, not much going on here. So I'm going to get off of here and spend some time with my daughter. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(
P.S.~ Below, you'll find a couple of pictures from today...

What Happened, Divorce, College Student...

What Happened?:
Where's the warm weather?? Yesterday it was 62 out an today it was only 45. No wonder people get sick, ya know? Tomorrow is the first day of spring and I hope the snow is gone until the end of the year. I am so sick of seeing snow because we got pummeled with it this year. I love being outside and so does Cheyenne, but she doesn't like to go out in the cold, which I don't blame her one bit. She asked me today once it gets warmer out, if she could walk home from the bus stop. I don't mind because she comes straight home and doesn't goof off and make me wonder where she is.

Sick Child:
Cheyenne has been sick for 3 days now. The first day, it started out with a fever, sore neck, sore throat, headache and vomiting. The second day was pretty much the same as the first day, except her stomach started hurting. Now today, no vomiting, she was able to keep the chicken soup and powerade down. Now she says the far right side of her abdomen hurts and the only thing that's over that way is her appendix. I'm going to take her to her pediatrician tomorrow and find out what's up. I feel so bad for her when she's sick, because she has no color to her whatsoever. She's as pale as a ghost. Even her eyes are glassy and her pupils are dilated. And when she's sick, she's usually down for at least a week. Her school was doing PSSA (state testing) all this week and she had to miss it. She was looking forward to the testing, because she knew everything that would be on the test. So I called her teacher and he said that she could make it up at the end of the year so she'll be able to go into 4th grade. I still can't believe that my baby is 10 years old, next thing I know, she'll be 16, then 18 graduating from high school, then 21 and hopefully she'll still want to go to college by then. She said that she either wanted to be an Astronaut, Lawyer or a Doctor. And academic wise, she's doing really good. I'm just so proud of her, ya know? She's my baby, well maybe not so much now, but she will always be my baby and she can always come to me for anything.....

It's Official:
I filed for divorce today against Chris. I am done playing his petty BS games. What he does is run his mouth and just make up shit to get into any kind of argument that he can with me. Just something for him to fight with me about. He'll leave smart ass remarks on my voicemail saying. "tell your boyfriend that I said hi." First of all, I don't have a boyfriend and I can't count how many times I have told him this. And I should have known that it was only a matter of time before he picks a fight with me. I don't look at other men, let alone look at them when we're together, because when we're together, I have no reason to look at anyone else. But that's not a good enough reason for him. But it's alright that when I went over to see him one day, his ex GF was in front of his house, and he was standing over the door of the car looking pretty cozy with her. I was livid!! And he said that I had no reason to be upset because nothing happened. That's not the *@!*&# point! Now if I was to do that with my ex, he would have knocked the crap outta me and put in the hospital for it. It has to be one sided with him. He can't compromise with someone if his life depended on it. And personally, it's time I moved on. A good friend of mine, Jessica and her boyfriend D, both told me that Chris is a time bomb just waiting to explode and that I could do much better and be with someone that wants to be with me, someone who is NOT controlling at ALL, someone that understands that when my daughter is sick, I do need to be with her. That's another thing that he got pissed off about. When I told him the other day that I couldn't come down because Cheyenne was sick, he told me that it was just another excuse to not come over and see him! How fucking lame is that?!?! REALLY?? When I'm here in bed sleeping, he'll call and if don't answer the phone by the 3rd ring, he will leave me a nasty voicemail saying that I'm nothing but a whore, a slut and that I need to answer the f'n phone. Now why would I want to be with someone that is treating me like shit and belittles me in front of my family & friends? I can honestly say that I regret every marrying him and the sooner that the divorce goes through, the better. And that's one step closer to getting my life back on track.

New College Student:
That's right..I officially enrolled in an online college today. The name of the college is Centura College and I did some research and found that between Centura and University of Phoenix, that Centura's courses were more suited to my needs and I like the fact that I can even take the classes late at night if I had to. The method to my madness is to take the courses when Cheyenne is in school, that way I can concentrate on my studies, without interruptions. I will be taking Medical Coding/Medical Transcription w/Medical Management course and the classes start on May 11. I will have my Associate's Degree in only 18 months. This is something that I am really looking forward to and even my parent's are proud of me. I took the entrance exam yesterday and I surprisingly got an A on it. I was so excited when I logged onto the site and looked at my grade for the exam! Well, I'm going to get off of here and try to get some sleep because for the past 3 nights, I've only been able to get a couple hours sleep here and there because I've been getting up with Cheyenne when she's vomited. Not that I'm complaining because that's what I'm supposed to do for my daughter. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

I Said Goodbye,

Said Goodbye:
I called Chris and told him to meet me at Georgie's house today. I wanted to meet him on neutral ground, because the less people around, the better. Well, when I got there, he was already there. I no sooner got out of the jeep, and he says this, 'where the fuck did you get the pittsburgh keychain from? Did your boyfriend buy it for you?' He always says some sarcastic bullshit. It's like he purposely makes up shit to start an argument. I don't know how many more times I can attempt to convince that I haven't been with anybody, but that's not a good enough answer. It's like he wants me to cheat on him. Well, the thought has never crossed my mind. And I just got over being sick, so having sex wasn't on my list of priorities at the moment. So he took it as I was sleeping with someone else. That is the farthest thing from my mind. After about 20 minutes of bickering back and forth, I told him that I was walking away and that I am done with the emotional abuse. I am tired of being called names on a daily basis, I am tired of having anxiety attacks because he thinks by doing so, it makes him feel in control. It has gotten to the point where he has alienated me from MY daughter. When I go see him, I'm not allowed to go home until after 10 most nights and by that time, Cheyenne is in bed and then I don't get to see her or spend any time with her at all. I tried to tell him about it, and he said that I was making it up, even though I'm not the only one that notices it. So, does that make us all liars?!? And I think it's going to come down to me changing my phone number again. Now, it's time for me to get off of here because it's getting late. Marty will be here at 10am to pick me up, we're leaving for the day. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

Feeling Disconnected Today...

Disconnected:
I guess it's just an 'off' day for me today. Nothing seems to be going right. I went over to see Georgie today, and we decided to take her daughter, Heaven, to the park for a little bit. It was such a nice day out, and I knew that Heaven wanted to go to the park and play on the swings and stuff. And even doing that, I just felt 'out of sorts'. I sure hope tomorrow will be a better day, because something has got to give. Right now, Chris and I are arguing, and that's not helping matters much at all. I hate it when we argue, because he thinks he's always right, and expects an apology even if he knows he was wrong...he will NEVER apologize first and it irritates me to no end when he does that. And I also think he knows that too lol. And not to mention, when we do argue, I get depressed, and get knots in my stomach and then the anxiety attacks set it. He doesn't understand this and you think he would because he's seen my anxiety attacks before. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest and I can't breathe. Oh, another thing, if people would just keep their yaps shut and stop talking trash, we wouldn't have many problems. But there's always someone out there who's jealous and doesn't want to see us happy and they start running their yaps and cause all kinds of problems for us, that we don't need. We have a hard enough time trying to make it. And I have found that the people that do open up their yaps are the ones that are jealous of how happy we are and can be. There's been times to where I wish we could just move away from all the bullshit, but financially, we can't afford to move out of Youngstown. So we're stuck in this hell hole of a town, while people run their mouths.

Job Hunting:
Well, the job hunting isn't going very well. This economy is so tanked right now. I put applications in to various places, with the hopes that someone will call me, but no luck so far. I have my certification as a Home Health Aide from the state but no one is hiring, at least not me anyways. I've only been fired from one job in my life. But I'm trying so very hard to keep my chin up and that I will find something soon. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents, but living with them is hard on Cheyenne and I. I hardly have any privacy....I just want a house that I can call my own, ya know? Where Chris, Cheyenne & I can be a family, living together. But it's just so hard, because I can't catch a break anywhere. It can be disheartening and discouraging at times. So anyways, I'm gonna get off of here and try to get rid of this migraine, before I end up in the ER tonight. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

A Great Day!!

A Great Day:
Today was a great day, all in all. Chris and I took Cheyenne fishing, so she could try out her new fishing pole that she got for her birthday. Although she didn't catch any fish after the 3rd hour, we headed back to Debbie's house so we could all hook up to go into the mud pits. Last night, Chris' friend, Ryan was in the pits with us and we were on a trail and he busted 3 of his lugnuts off his Blazer. So he couldn't go in the mud with us today. But Cheyenne had fun because Ricky brought the quad down into the pits so the kiddos could take turns going on the quad with someone. Greg also brought Jeremy, which put Cheyenne in a good mood because she had someone else to play with down there. It was a nice day, and the pits were still pretty muddy from last week's rain, so why not enjoy it outside, right? Now that the weather is getting warmer and it's staying warm, we'll be out in the pits every weekend and then when Yankee Lake opens back up, we'll be up there on Friday nights.

Just Rambling:
Oh yeah, Chris and I filed our income taxes yesterday, and I thought that we would get some money the same day, but we'll have to wait 8-10 days. I was a little bummed out, but I do know that those 8-10 days will just DRAG!! lol I'm looking forward to it because Chris is going to buy me a diamond 'Journey' wedding band. And we're also going to the Pocono Mtns. for a couple days for our honeymoon because we didn't go on a honeymoon after we got married. But it's a stunning B&B, the house it a Gothic style Victorian. I fell in love with the house almost immediately and when I showed the pictures of the house to Chris, he fell in love with the house too. Both my Mom and Georgie offered to keep Cheyenne that weekend. So when it comes closer to the time that we're leaving, we'll let her decide where she wants to stay. I'm trying to let her be independent, but yet still have some control in her life, ya know? I just can't believe that she's 10 already! Where have all these years gone?? Next thing I know, she'll be 16 and then 21. My baby isn't such a baby anymore. Well, it's getting pretty late so I'm going to get off of here and get some sleep. I have to get up early with Cheyenne in the AM and take her to school. She took my wallet to school and it's in her desk and I need my SS card out of there so I can take that and my marriage license to the bank tomorrow. So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

Sharing Some Birthday Pictures....

Cheyenne's Birthday Pictures:

I finally uploaded the pictures from Cheyenne's birthday party last weekend. Did I mention that she had a wonderful birthday?!? Chris' entire family was there, they're all related to her now by marriage, so about 40 people showed up for her. She was shocked that everyone was there for her. She had her Hannah Montana pinata, which Chris had to hold up because it was too heavy to hang from the ceiling. It turned into a cookout and Chris did the food on the grill and everything just fell into place, if that makes sense. She got a fishing pole(from us), cards with money in them, a Hannah Montana DS game(from Chris' mom & dad), HM plate set and cups(Uncle Matt) a HM 300 pc. puzzle(from Jeremy & Josh). She got quite a bit of money which added up to be over $100 which included 2 gift cards. So she made out pretty well if you ask me. So without further ado, here's the pictures: Picture #1 is her HM birthday cake, Picture #2 is her Pinata, and Picture #3 is Cheyenne with her new HM Nintendo DS game. So enjoy the pictures everyone! Well, it's getting late and I need to get some sleep. We have a busy day planned tomorrow...family fishing trip! So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

My Baby's 10 Today!!

Ten Years Old Today:
Where has the time gone?? My baby is 10 today, well technically not for another 4 hours, but still. I went to see Chris today and we ended up at Wal-Mart and got Cheyenne a Disney Princess fishing pole. She talked about wanting her own pole and her birthday was coming up so we got it... it was only $10.96, which wasn't bad at all, ya know? We also got her Hannah Montana balloons too. We got those at Giant Eagle, which we only paid $12.96 for a dozen balloons. This year we decided to go with the Hannah Montana theme for her birthday. I'm kind of pissed off that my mother is letting her Dad come up here for her party. So I told her that I was leaving and that she could meet me at my house in Brookfield after dipshit left. I have nothing to say to that asshole. I'm trying to work things out with my husband and I don't need him running his mouth or trying to get Chris and I to argue. That will NOT happen! Well anyways, Chris and I decorated Cheyenne's HM cake and it turned out pretty nice. I plan on taking lots of pictures tomorrow of Cheyenne's cake and her opening up her presents. So look either here or at Facebook for the pictures. Well, it's late and I need to get up early tomorrow. Have a busy day planned for her!
So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

I Can't Believe It...

Can't Believe It:
I wrecked my Jeep today, well actually yesterday now. I was going down the freeway and this asshole was beside me and then he got right behind me. But I had my turn signal on, getting ready to turn in to the gas station to get gas. So instead of having him plow into me, I hit a patch of gravel, brakes locked up and I slid right into the fucking pole!! I tore off the wheel flare, the wheel well was laying on top of my tire, detroyed my bumper, did fender and suspension damage. So on Monday, it's going to the body shop and the insurance is going to take care of it. I was so pissed off that I could have screamed right there, but I had to keep my cool because I had Cheyenne in the jeep with me. I was able to make it over to Chris's mom's house so he could try to put the wheel flare and wheel well back together somewhat so I could get it home later. Luckily, he was able to do that. It doesn't look half bad now, lol. Cheyenne got a little bit of whiplash when I hit the pole because she didn't have her seatbelt on like she was supposed to and got flung from the back seat and whacked her head off the passenger seat in the front. So I'm going to keep an eye on her to make sure she's alright. When I called Chris to let him know that I wrecked the Jeep, I was in hysterics and crying and he couldn't understand anything that I was saying to him. He finally got me to calm down and I told him that I wrecked the jeep and that the wheel flare was in my backseat, marker light busted out completely and everything else that got busted up in the aftermath. I just figured I'd hit that than have some asswipe plow into me because the damage probably would've been worse I'm sure. So I'm headed to bed, with thoughts of how much it's going to cost to fix... So until we blog again, hugs & blessed be! )0(

Nice Weather Finally,Etc....

Nice Weather:
It reached 50 degrees here today. Not that I was complaining lol. It's supposed to be nice tomorrow too. Chris, myself, GeorgeAnne & Heaven went to the park today and fed the ducks. Heaven really enjoyed feeding them. And then after the bread was gone, she went over and played on the jungle gym thingie. GeorgeAnne rarely takes Heaven out of the house, let alone takes her to the park. So I thought it would be a great idea to take her to the park, since it was such a nice day out. I just don't understand how anybody can be cooped up in the house when it's beautiful outside.

Moving:
I am so not looking forward to moving the heavy furniture out of the house in Brookfield. But it has to be done soon because the Realtor has a potential buyer for the house. I haven't decided if I'm going to put my stuff in a storage unit or just put it in my Mom's shed. I'll probably just put it in her shed so I can save what money I do have, ya know?

Broken Foot Day 2

Broken Foot Day 2:
I hate being cooped up in the house here. Only 29 more days to go of this lol. I sure hope I can make it through this. My Mom did get me out of the house for a little bit today so I could go to my house and feed the cats. Right now, I'm staying with my Mom so I don't have to walk up all them stairs.

Valentine's Day:
I'm bummed out about tomorrow. Chris and I had plans for Valentine's Day, but I don't see that happening though. I can't drive and I can't find anyone that will come pick me up so we can spend the day together. So I guess you could say we're both pissed off about tomorrow. I'll just have to deal with it I guess. Not much else going on here, so I'm going to get off of here and get some ice for my foot. So until we blog again, hugs and blessed be! )0(

The Heck With the Flu, How About A Broken Foot Instead?!?

Broken Foot Fiasco:
It would have been nice to have known that I've been walking around on a broken foot and didn't even know it. I just thought that my bone spur was acting up, with the feeling of someone shoving knives into the bottom of my foot, but nooooooooo it couldn't be that flippin' simple! I have a stress fracture on my right foot and my foot doctor put me in a cast for the next month!! I can't stand being cooped up in the house as it is, let alone for a whole month. WTF am I gonna do besides drive myself crazy here? So if you have any suggestions on how to curb the boredom and driving myself bonkers, please leave me a comment, k? When I got home from the doctor, Cheyenne thought it was funny that I was hobbling, calling me 'hopalong'. That's okay, I'll get even with her butt lol. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but one day whe she least expects it....hehehe I know, mean mommy :D
And the pain meds I got, they work wonders let me tell ya. In all honestly, I hope nothing else goes wrong because this bad luck shit has got to stop cause if it don't I'm gonna join a flippin' convent and live in solitude the rest of my life away from every thing lmao... just kidding. Don't think I could handle that either. So I'm gonna get off of here and go rest my foot. So until we blog again, hugs and blessed be!

Life's Issues, Valentine's Day, A New Journal

Life's Issues:
I'm trying to understand why my cousin does the things she does. I love her to death, but her BF of 6 years has to go. She got her income tax refund and wasn't allowed to spend any of the money. She had to give him her entire check except for $20!! When she told me that, I wanted to deck his ass!! I was so mad, and I thought to myself, why would she do that?!? For one, they're not married, and for another, he does nothing to help support her or their child. In my opinion, he's a thief, a crackhead and just an asshole. She has Children Services at her house weekly to make sure that he isn't there. He has pending charges in another county for child molestation. And one day they came to her house and showed her these charges from the other county and told the CS caseworker that it wasn't him. They showed her the picture of him!! And that day he almost got busted and took out the back door. And the really fucked up part is that their daughter, she's 5, her mom took her to the doctor for a routine visit and she told the doctor that her daddy touched her down there. And they did a physical exam on her and they determined that she was touched. When I found out, I wanted to hunt the SOB down and shoot him myself! Why does she continue to let him in her house and around her daughter knowing all of this? She says that he loves her and thinks that no one else will want her besides him. How will she know if she doesn't try? I just don't get it.....

Valentine's Day:
They're calling for more snow tomorrow and for this weekend. Chris and I have plans for dinner, but he's not telling me where we're going yet. He got me this HUGE ass V Day card yesterday. It was so nice. He's getting better in the romance department, with my help of course...hehehe Men could always use a little bit of encouragement in that department I think, right? Anyways, I hope we don't get too much snow this weekend. I really enjoyed the warm weather the past couple days even though it rained most of that time. Oh well....

A New Journal:
I took a midnight trip to Wal-Mart to get a few things. I was thinking about getting a journal and I wanted to see how much they were. They had some nice ones there and I couldn't decide on which one I wanted to get. So I got this little one, it's suede. It's pretty cool. That way, if I don't blog on here one day, I can write it down in my journal so I don't forget, kwim? Well, it's 12:30 and I need to be up early again tomorrow. So until we blog again, hugs and blessed be! )0(

Feeling Like Crap....

Under the weather:
I do not feel good at all. Could someone please put me out of my misery?!? I'm all congested, I have a sinus infection, constantly coughing and have a temp of around 101. And the only thing I can think of is that I got sick while Chris and I took Cheyenne sled riding last weekend. Chris is sick too. I feel so bad for him because he's just as irritable as I am. All I want to do is sleep and can't because I can't breathe when I lay down. I am taking my pain medication for my migraines to try and help me sleep. It helps a little bit though.

Beautiful Weather:
The weather was absolutely beautiful here today. Alot of the snow and ice melted and hopefully the temperature won't go down anytime soon and make everything slick again. But then again I love to watch all the idiots out there trying to drive in that crap and sliding all over the place, knowing good and well that they should have stayed home lol... just sayin'. Well, I'm gonna get off of here because my meds are kickin' in and I've had about all I can take for one day. Until we blog again, hugs and blessed be!! )0(

Window Shopping at Wal-Mart,etc...

Window Shopping at Wal~Mart:
Georgeanne got her tax refund today and she asked me if I would take her out to Wal~Mart. The jeep was packed with people... George, Chris, Rick, Rickcal and myself all piled into the jeep for the trip to Boardman. Chris and I headed to the jewelry department and found the wedding rings that we want. We also were looking at the lingerie, and there was a couple of things that I would wear for him...hehehehe. I was surprised when George offered to take us all to Cici's Pizza for a late lunch. Then after Cici's, we went into Barnes & Noble and was looking at all the Witchcraft books there.

WTF Is the Deal?!:
My dipshit ex husband is running his mouth again. And he is stopping at nothing to get Chris and I to argue. Asswipe told my mom that he couldn't believe that she would let me be with Chris after all that has happened between him and me. But you know what? Every relationship isn't perfect and we are trying to be happy and people just won't stop interfering and it really aggravating me. Brian has absolutely nothing to gain by running his mouth to my mom or anyone else for that matter. So until he decides to grow up and act like a human being, I told Cheyenne that she will no longer be playing on the XBox 360 anymore with him. She didn't like that too well and I told her to get over it. She can't get online without the ethernet cable...hehehe. Now, that's dramatic lol. And here's the thing with asswipe, his best friend L****, happens to be Chris's uncle, and talk about complicated. So L**** thinks he has something to gain by being shoved up asswipe's ass all the time and he runs his mouth doing anything he can to split up Chris and I. I'm just not sure how much more of this stupid shit I can take. Enough is enough already. Well, it's a little after midnight and I need to get some sleep. So until we blog again, hugs and blessed be!

It's Been Awhile....

It's Been Awhile:
It's been almost a month since I last blogged. Lately, it seems that I hardly have the time to blog. Work keeps me pretty busy and all is good. Not much really happening here. I went back to court on the 22nd, and it didn't go as planned. But I'm dealing with it the best I can. Let's just say the Judge made up continue the anger management and marriage couseling thing. So far so good. We're starting to actually listen to one another and not get frustrated with each other. And not being together 24/7 helps too. And he just got a job and is filed his income tax return, and that will help out tremendously too. I think that Chris is finally getting it.....lol

Sled Riding:
Chris and I took Cheyenne and her cousin sled riding yesterday and today. Today, Cheyenne copped an attitude because she wanted Jeremy to go down the hill first and he wanted her to go down first. Granted, Cheyenne's older than Jeremy by 5 years and I stood there and argued with her for 20 minutes to either go down or I was going to push her down the hill. So she stood up and said "fine, I'm not going sled riding!" Alright whatever. So then we left and I had to listen to the crying crap for the next hour. I was about to choke her. She needed an attitude adjustment and I was about to put her in her place. I finally told her that if she didn't quit the crap, she would never go sled riding with me again, no XBox 360, no Nintendo DS, no computer and no television until she's 18. She didn't like that too well and that seemed to straighten her butt out. Chris and I were at our wit's end with her today.

Moved Back Home:
Yes, you heard me right. I had to move back into my Mom's house. With it being so cold a couple weeks ago, all the pipes burst in the basement and there's about 4 inches of water down there now. Then last week someone came in and took all the copper pipes out of my house. I was so pissed and the fucked up part is that I know who did it. That's okay, the m***** f***** will get his in the end. So until spring or until Chris and I get our own place, I'll be here at my Mom's. It's now a 45 minute drive to see him every day instead of a 20 minute drive, but it's well worth it. He's really good around Cheyenne, he does stuff with her and treats her like his own child.

Some Final Thoughts:
There are people that tell me all the reasons why I shouldn't be with Chris. And people sometimes tell me that when I talk I don't make sense, but around Chris, I make perfect sense and he understands me. I guess I just didn't want to admit how much I really loved him because I was scared to be in love and to experience love like this scared the hell out of me and that's why I would run away from it, instead of embracing it. So yeah, I'm going to work it out with my husband and make the whole world jealous...hehehehe. Well, that's about it, because it's now 2:17 am and I need to be up at 7:30 to get Cheyenne on the bus at 8:15. So until we blog again, hugs and blessed be!

First Day of Work/Class...

First Day:
I am working for a home health agency and right now I'm taking the CHHA training class to be come state certified. And once I'm certified(next Tuesday), I'll be out working with another girl for a couple of weeks, then I'll be on my own. I took my cousin Rickcal out there about them hiring and she filled out an application and said they'd call her. I hope she gets hired, because she's been looking for work also. I'm really excited about this job,can't ya tell?? hehehe. Not much else going on here, although we're supposed to get more snow tonight, fun! So I'm going to get off of here so until we blog again, hugs & blessed be!!

Ice, Snow and Everything In Between....

Ice and Snow:
We're under a winter weather advisory until tomorrow sometime. Go figure!! It also came over the television from County 911 that if you didn't have to go out tonight, stay at home because the roads are extremely icy and dangerous. There were already several crashes in the area and that was on the news. Then tomorrow, we're supposed to get between 2-4 inches of snow. I feel bad for Brian, because he has to drive in this crap. He's coming this way from Milwaukee and he'll be here sometime in the morning. Hopefully, the roads won't be too bad for him. He's stopping here because he has to take his 10 hour break and is also relaying his load with someone else and then going back to Wisconsin. I wish spring would get here already...lol

Trip to Wal-Mart:
Yeah, that was a mistake.....the roads were so bad up that way, I just should've stayed home. And luckily, the store wasn't all that busy. I actually found a parking spot near the front of the store. So I think I figured out the best time to go to Wal-Mart. When the roads are shitty and it's late. I bought a pair of jeans, a Valentine's Day t shirt, a couple of Hershey bars, HSM socks for Cheyenne and a few unmentionables lol. My mom had given me a $50 gift card and it came to $53.89 so I only had to pay $3.89 which wasn't bad at all. Well, it's getting late and I need to get off of here. Until be blog again, hugs and blessed be!!

Some Peace Tonight...

Some Peace Finally:
I got my phone number changed and only the people that need to have it, have it. I called the home health agency back this morning, it's the one that I applied to back in December, and I start classes to become certified on the 12th. The classes are a week long and then I am officially hired. They provide the scrubs which is pretty cool. I'm pretty excited about it, because most of my jobs have been in the medical field and they are willing to train me to become state certified.

My Divorce:
I have decide that I am filing for divorce from Chris. I can't take the bullshit anymore and it would be nice to actually start sleeping again. I just think that it's the best thing to do and just end it instead of dragging out the inevitable,right? And other than that, not much going on here. Cheyenne went home last night because she went back to school today. So until we blog again, hugs and blessed be!!

Sleepless Night, Relationship Issues, Girls' Day Out....

Sleepless Night:
One word....pain. My back feels like someone is stabbing me in my lower back and I just wish that it would quit hurting so I can attempt to get some sleep tonight. I hate taking pain meds for it, but I had to tonight. That's how bad it hurts me. Also, Cheyenne is having a sleepover tonight and her friend Tea', seems to think that she can stay up all night here. She tried to tell me that her mom lets her stay up all night at home....well not in this house. Then she told me that she'd go home....bye! This child's mother lets her get away with whatever. She has no manners to speak of, uses her sleeve of her shirt to wipe her mouth after she's done eating. I don't get it. And she managed to spill Coke all over my new couch. I was NOT happy about that because it left a HUGE stain on it. I just hope I can get the stain out of it....she could've at least apologized for spilling it, but all she did was laugh and say oh well. Ok.....

Relationship Issues:
Yes, I'm having issues in our relationship. The latest news, or old news should I say, is that my husband is calling me a whore and anything else he can think of. I have NEVER cheated on him, even when we weren't together. But I don't get it. He 'claims' that he loves me and wants to work out our marriage, then he flips a switch and becomes a real asshole. You know what I did for New Year's?? I spent it at home with Cheyenne, my Mom and my Aunt Marty. If you read my last few posts, I had made plans to go to my cousin's for New Year's but after the money 'incident', I decided not to go. And I thought that at least Chris would understand that. I guess not. So he called me 35 times between last night and tonight saying that " I'm nothing but a whore and that he hopes I had fun with the guy that I supposedly slept with last night". Yeah, ok. Just because I didn't go over there last night, that makes me a whore, right? Yeah, imagine that!! And I swear to the Goddess that if he calls me a whore ONE MORE TIME, I will get my phone number changed and I won't give it to him. And people wonder why I'm irritable and stressed out. My HUSBAND of all people is the main cause of my irritability and stress. I just wish he would realize that. I'm tired of being called names and treated like shit. He also said that nothing he does can make me happy? Well why should it?? All he does lately is put me down and make me feel like I'm not worth a damn, so why should I be happy? Maybe if he got a job and kept it, things wouldn't be so bad. But he's not even attempting to look for a job. He'd rather sit on his butt and wait for the jobs to come to him or somethin'.....lol. I'm just tired of waiting for something that I know won't happen. And we can't survive on just my income alone, ya know? I have a hard enough time getting all my bills paid. I need help and I've told him that I need help. He acts like it doesn't bother him and he doesn't care. Well, you know what, as of right now, I don't care either. If he wants to be lazy the rest of his life, then I want no part of it. What more do I have to do to make him realize that I need help? I am literally at my wit's end here....and the really fucked up part is that I still love him, and at the same time, I know that it will never work between us.

Girl's Day Out:
Cheyenne, Aunt Marty & I are going to have a girl's day out tomorrow. Now that is something that I'm looking forward to. We're going out for breakfast, which will be a nice change from cooking every day, ya know? Then, we're going to do a little bit of shopping too. My aunt is staying here with Cheyenne and I tonight, so she'll already be here.

Well, my pain meds are starting to kick my arse, and that means it's time for me to get to bed. So, until we blog again, hugs and blessed be!!