Friends, Family,Christmas Cards,etc...

I've been sitting here thinking about everything that has happened tonight. I really regret getting the restraining order against Chris dismissed because if I hadn't I wouldn't be sitting here worried about whether or not he'll come here. And hearing my mom tell me 'I told you so' doesn't help either. Ok, so she was right about him. She said he would just hurt me again. And I don't need anyone else to tell me that either. Hearing it from my mother is enough trust me. I guess I just wanted to believe that he loved me and that he changed. And there's no point in me sulking about it because that won't change my mind about him.

My friends have been just wonderful through all of this. My good friend, Marty, even though she's going through her mom's passing right now, we're there for each other no matter what. She's one person that I have always trusted and could count on to be there for me when something would go wrong in my fucked up life. She even told me not to get back together with Chris and I chose not to listen to her because I thought I 'loved' him. Blah blah blah!

I've counted up how many Christmas cards I'll be sending out this year.... 116!! I can't believe it. I have never sent out that many cards ever! But that includes family and friends. I still haven't put up and Christmas decorations yet. I'm just not ready for Christmas yet lol. Cheyenne is supposed to come home this weekend and help me with the tree....she said she wanted to help, but we'll see. I hope that this will be a good Christmas...just in general. I'm tired of having a shitty Christmas year after year and something has got to give. And I thought Cheyenne's dad was going to Florida for the holidays but turns out that he wants to spend Christmas with us. I haven't given him a definite answer on that yet. I know that Cheyenne wants him here, so we'll see how it goes. So until we blog again....hugs & blessed be!