Alot On My Mind Tonight

My husband Chris, whom I thought was soon to be my ex husband, is on my mind tonight. In my last post when I spoke of 'him' it was Chris. Him and I are both Leo's. And we are both very head strong and stubborn. Yes, I'm stubborn. But I love him more than I have ever loved anyone in my life. I love him as much as I love Cheyenne. Ok, this may sound a little cheesy or whatever you wanna call it, but a little while back, I went to an astrology site and researched our horoscopes and some insight on our relationship. What I read left me speechless. You can read it here and here. It pretty much says that the red hot passion between us is unstoppable. That couldn't be more true. I showed it to Chris and not 2 days before that, he said the exact same thing. We've had some bad times, but there's also been alot of good times together. We haven't always argued. When he sat here beside me and poured his heart out to me Saturday night, I finally understood how he felt and where exactly I stood with him. And he is my husband after all and I'm supposed to support him and stand beside him and I haven't been doing that. Our last argument didn't end so well. That was on October 20. We started talking again at 3am Tuesday morning last week. He has always had my heart. I just didn't want to admit it to myself or anybody else. I was afraid that if I gave my heart away, he would just shatter it like the rest. And to a point, he did. But doing so has made me a stronger person and he's the only person that I want to have it.

On another note, we are apartment hunting. We're trying to find something close to where I'll be working so driving won't kill me every day. A friend of Chris's uncle has a house that he'll sell on a land contract. We haven't seen the inside of the house yet, but the outside doesn't look all that bad. I don't think we're going to get one until after the holidays because with Christmas coming up, I don't want to have to move during all that too.